I Accept My Gift
Introduction
Who was I, and what was my life like before I met my Mentors in their physical bodies (when I began to consciously perceive them as Mentors)?
Looking back over many years, I saw only greyness there.
I always knew about my Gift. Even in my youth, I had experiences when I could see or predict events. And the more I observed people, the more I saw the DIFFERENCE – the way I stood apart from them.
Only the Path of Self Knowledge gave me the vision and understanding that, in reality, I am part of the UNIFIED WHOLE. Part of the World, part of God, and, to some extent, part of these people. But I began to truly see and acknowledge this much later.
From childhood, one thing concerned and interested me above all: NOT TO THINK BADLY OF ANYONE, not to hurt anyone with a judgmental thought.
At my first meeting with my Mentor, he asked me:
– What do you want?
– PURITY, – I answered immediately. – I see envy, hatred, and jealousy in people. I consider myself much better than them – almost a saint, sinless. But in truth, I know that I am THE SAME AS THEY ARE – that all of this exists within me, and I want to cleanse myself of it.
– That’s easy, – he replied. – You just need to become a CLEAN SLATE.
Since then, I have walked a long and thorny path – many years and many inner breakings – but I always remember that meeting and his words.
During my growth, I came to have other Mentors – some with physical bodies, some without – but all were PURE, with pure intentions. Each of them gave me much: new vision, a new perspective. Only years later could I understand some of the things I did at their prompting – I had to break myself, break my EGO, to do what they spoke of. To go through pain.
And all of this was so that I might finally arrive at the state of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE – the true state of the soul, which gives me the awareness of being part of God and of my Divine Source.
Now I have no resentment left toward my true Mentors – the resentments have simply melted away – and I feel only UNCONDITIONAL GRATITUDE AND LOVE toward them.
Over decades of self knowledge and inner growth, I practiced and mastered a great number of different techniques, many of which my Mentors gave me. These techniques, along with my diligence, my immense inner desire for Purity and for helping others, gave me FREEDOM. Freedom from everything – fears, inner patterns, laziness, weakness, and more.
This Freedom is the eternal sensation of your Soul’s flight. Union with your Soul and with God.
I will share several techniques for independent practice at the end of this book; some will be mentioned briefly or described in more detail earlier on. Overall, this book contains answers to many of your questions, the principles of the Universe and the laws of God, some advice, and the invaluable information I received from my Mentors.
PART I
PSYCHOLOGY OF THINKING.
KEY ASPECTS OF SELF KNOWLEDGE AND INNER GROWTH.
I. Breaking Down Mental Patterns. The Diary
Living in society conditioned us to accept social norms as the ultimate truth, and breaking out of these societal frameworks was not easy for me. The first thing my Mentor did was to remove me from society for a long period and make me completely isolate myself from it («make» in a good sense – he didn’t force me, but I automatically regarded each of his recommendations as an unquestionable truth and a guide to action).
The first step toward breaking down my beliefs and opening new channels of perception was keeping a diary. There are different types of diaries, and for many years I practiced various forms. Like many things in my life, I did this with particular diligence, considering it one of the most important tasks: to be honest first and foremost with myself and with God.
Coming home from work at night, exhausted, I would sit down to write in my diary for 3–4 hours. Then I’d sleep for 2–3 hours and go back to work.
This was a difficult period in my life – with crocodile tears, I dragged out everything I desperately wanted to hide. Especially fragments of the day involving conflict situations, when I wanted to scream at the top of my voice: «I’M NOT GUILTY! IT’S ALL HIS FAULT!». At such moments, I would stop and examine the situation especially carefully from the perspective of: «IF TWO PEOPLE ARE INVOLVED IN A SITUATION, THEN BOTH ARE RESPONSIBLE».
I forced myself to see the situation through my opponent’s eyes. The more my inner voice screamed «IT’S ALL HIS FAULT!», the louder I told myself: «No! You’re justifying yourself too persistently. Let’s find where YOUR MISTAKE was. Let’s see the situation from this person’s perspective, put ourselves in their place».
I learned to LIVE WITHOUT JUSTIFICATIONS.
I eradicated the «little girl syndrome» within myself – the pattern where your opponent is always the «parent unfairly punishing the child», and you are that child in the situation.
I learned to SEE THE TRUTH.
Later, other forms of diary keeping helped me further: diaries of FACTS and EMOTIONS.
There are diaries of events, thoughts, emotions, and facts. If you keep these diaries separately, you begin to detach emotions and thoughts from yourself, to see that they are NOT YOU but something foreign. And most importantly – YOU CAN CONTROL THEM.
«Try saying not “I am angry” but “I have anger”», my Mentor once told me. «In the first case, it feels like anger controls you – you can’t do anything about it, it overwhelms you. In the second case, anger becomes something secondary, small. I comes first, and anger is ‘with me’ – meaning I can easily control it».
I began to keep diaries in this form, and it significantly changed my perception.
If earlier I might have written something like:
«Ira came in a weird looking dress, angry, and said everyone was getting on her nerves»,
now I wrote:
«Ira came wearing a grey cotton dress. Her eyes were blazing, her nostrils flared, and her voice was two tones higher than usual. She said: “Just now, my boss asked me again to do his work. Him and the CEO are so annoying – always dumping their responsibilities on me!”»
Do you sense the difference?
In the first version, if I told someone about this situation, they would picture Ira as looking strange, wearing odd clothes, and unreasonably angry at the whole world. But when reflecting the facts, we see that there’s nothing strange about her appearance, and she’s not angry at the whole world – only at her two bosses, and quite justifiably so.
The tendency to embellish events leads us to convey distorted pictures to others through our words. But more importantly, we eventually start to take as gospel truth what we once said, and over time, this «made up world» becomes a reality we begin to believe in.
Carefully recording the facts teaches us to see the TRUTH – to see the world as it really is. But most importantly, it removes our inner «screens», and we begin to see the ESSENCE OF THE UNIVERSE.
Keeping a Diary: Additional Benefits
Keeping a diary brought several more advantages:
I developed a photographic memory and can now reproduce verbatim who said what, their posture during a meeting, and other details.
I began to see the interconnections between events – you start to clearly observe which event followed which, and to discern patterns. This, in turn, allows you to take control of your life: you eliminate unnecessary events and introduce those that will trigger a chain of positive outcomes you desire.
For example, you may start to notice that after meeting a certain person, the projects you’ve been carefully building begin to fall apart. Just when results seem within reach – something happens. And this repeats over and over. With diary keeping, this pattern becomes completely obvious to you. Once you know the cause, you can decide how to address it. You might either end the relationship with that person or help them find their true path, so they change their life. The choice is yours – but in any case, you eliminate what was previously disrupting your endeavors.
Keeping a diary is directly linked to reviewing the past, which is an essential part of self development. Reviewing your past allows you to see past situations from a new perspective – through the eyes of an adult – which means you can recognize and correct mistakes, and consequently change your life path for the better.
This practice helped me acquire many useful qualities, and I recommend it to everyone on the path of personal development and self knowledge.
II. Taking Responsibility
A turning point in my life and a key factor in my growth was taking responsibility for my own life and for what happens in the world.
In Linda Howe’s book The Akashic Records, I came across an important phrase: «Everything I can fix, I fix. What I cannot influence, I let go».
Each of us has an energy field, and within our field, our mental patterns operate. The statement «This person always behaves strangely» is incorrect. Train yourself to be impeccable, and within your field, that person will either be, or become, impeccable.
From physics, we know that coils have electromagnetic fields, and in school we saw numerous experiments demonstrating how physical objects influence each other through electromagnetic fields. But an important point is that humans also have electromagnetic fields. When another being enters our field, they come under the influence of our thoughts, beliefs, and mental patterns.
This is not fiction – it’s a long proven fact. Therefore, before accusing someone of anything, take a good look at what you’ve thought or said about them (or what someone else has said about them).
